I’m a social person: Really social. I have a pretty good handshake and will hug you in a minute. My basic connection to humanity came to a dead stop last week. Now we are encouraged to practice social distancing. I made fun of an article in our paper that gives instructions on distancing ourselves from one another.

The phrase is now part of our lexicon and we’ve been bombarded with it since the introduction of the Coronavirus. Honestly, I do exercise that thing called personal space. I am uncomfortable when someone is so close I can hear their breathing. But now we’re being asked by the experts to separate ourselves even further. Six feet to be exact.

I imagined what it must look like so I made a video of myself holding a yard stick along the length of my arm. I deliberately banged into my coworkers and we laughed and laughed. Some might take offense to my joking about COVID-19. I get it. I’m not making fun of the virus or the serious health issues associated with it. I’m tickled that we have to be told how to act in public. Seems we’re already good at separation of the species.

In my humble opinion, standing six feet from my neighbor equates to me staring at my phone in a restaurant while my friend sits across the table. There’s no interaction, no conversation, nothing; just a big fixation on the tiny screen in front of my face. I suppose the good news is I can’t get sick from staring at my phone. I might trip and fall into a fountain or get run over by a car but other than that, no difference.

I never thought I’d have to self-quarantine myself either. Experts suggest if you suspect or have the virus, stay six feet away from other people in your household. If I am sequestered for 14 days with the SgtMaj, we’re going to have a problem. There’s a fridge and bathroom we both like to use on a regular basis.  

One more observation that tickled my fragile funny bone. Store shelves are void of toilet paper and hand sanitizer. Is it me or did it take a deadly virus to make people realize cleanliness is next to Godliness?

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