The following column was taken from the March 10, 1977 edition of The News, written by Mr. Charlie Walker.

You know what I can’t understand? Here are Adam and Eve. He’s incredibly handsome. She’s incredibly beautiful. So where did all the ugly people come from? We’re constantly reminded of the 20 percent illiteracy rate in Williamsburg County. But how many of you realize that only 10 percent of the male population is beautiful? Of course there’s not a man in Williamsburg County who doesn’t believe that he’s part of the 10 percent. So as a public service and on behalf of the Williamsburg County Chapter of the American Cancer Society, we prose to assemble the largest herd of masculinity ever in an effort to determine once and for all who is the best looking man in the county. This sounds like something the Society for the Elimination of Exclamation Points might sponsor. Its membership consists of people who are no longer surprised at anything. We had originally planned to hold an election to select the ugliest man in Williamsburg County. We discarded the idea as impractical. The ballot would have been nine miles long. It would be easier choosing the wettest drop of water in Black River. Seriously, the contest is all in fun. There is hardly one of us who has not had a friend or loved one hit by cancer. Despicable as it is, the disease is very democratic. Black or white, rich or poor, no one is immune. Our local cancer society president, Mrs. Mada Davis, dreamed this up, along with Polly Wright, chairman of the board, and Carolyn Blease, who has worked so hard on behalf of the Cancer Society. All you have to do to enter your favorite male in the beauty contest is send a dollar entry fee to Cancer, in care of The Kingstree News, or WDKD. A vote for your favorite candidate costs 50 cents and all proceeds go to the Williamsburg County Cancer Society Chapter. Every donation is tax deductible. The winner will be crowned April 1, at the annual fashion show held at the Kingstree Elementary School cafetorium by the cancer society. Pictured on page one this week for your viewing pleasure are a few of the matinee idols who have been entered. Whether your taste runs more toward the ridiculous or the sublime. Whether you prefer champagne or okra and tomatoes, there is something for you. It may not be all USDA Choice, but remember, one person’s famine is another person’s banquet. I call your attention to John Sellers, better known as the Englebert Humperdinck of Fulton Avenue. There’s P.K. Kozma, with a mustache. To quote the Arabic Robert Redford, “Some girls don’t mind fighting their way through a jungle when treasures untold await them.” Polly Wright, under pressure, finally submitted Bill Wright as a candidate. But Polly, a firm advocate of equal rights for women, claims that if Ford Motor Co. had been responsible for building Bill Wright he would have been recalled a long time ago. Jack Donnelly at the King’s Tree Inn has graciously made space available to display photographs of two of our more notorious entries: Marvin McCutchen, the round man with the square deal, and “Honest” Jesse James Hinnant. Included among Mr. McCutchen’s more valuable assets is a figure that measures 48-69-52. We’ve got irrigation ponds at Sandy Bay that aren’t that big. Someone mentioned that Marvin was wearing next to nothing in the photograph. I beg to disagree. How can anyone call 250lbs. of all-vegetable Crisco “next to nothing?” To quote a young lady from Greeleyville, “If Marvin was coffee he’d be good to the last drop.” Our other sex symbol in search of votes, James Hinnant, emigrated from Berkeley County at an early age when he discovered that every citizen in Greeleyville was worth a bale of cotton and was a whole lot easier to pick. Honest Jesse is the sole owner, packager and distributor of used cars with character. He’s so full of bull he gets valentines from cows. And contrary to rumors being circulated, Jack Donnelly did not have to add tranquilizers to the buffet after displaying pictures of Marvin and James at the King’s Tree Inn. So who is your favorite candidate for best looking male? Get your votes in now. Candidates will be judged solely on looks. Sex appeal don’t count. Don’t forget your dollar for every entry, and 50 cents for each vote. Let’s fight cancer and have some fun at the same time. After looking over pictures of some of the candidates, I’m just happy I don’t have to sell mirrors around here for a living. If I want to starve to death, I can always pen a Rolls Royce agency in Greeleyville.