It’s Cain against Abel. Family against family, when Clemson plays USC. There’s no middle road. It’s gotta be this or that. After Spiller returned the opening kick-off for a touchdown the sun went down no more to shine. The announcer on TV said it was a beautiful day at 768 Delos Road. All the King’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Charlie and Chuck back together again. I know how it is to win and lose. Winning is better. How did it feel? Like my nose was caught in a wringer washer for three hours. They say hell stays open all night long. I know it was open from noon till 3:30 p.m. It was so quiet at my house you could hear a ladybug squeeze a black head.
If misery were gold, I would have been a billionaire. Excuses are for losers and I don’t have any. Simple truth is the Chickens rang our bell all day long defensively and offensively up and down back and forth, in and out, all that’s missing is the flowers and the eulogy.
When everything goes wrong we look for someone to blame it on. So who done it? I blame it on Sports Illustrated magazine. They put Spiller’s picture in the magazine the week of the game. I’m not superstitious. If a black cat walks in front of me I don’t increase my insurance. I don’t walk under ladders, break mirrors, or eat Ole Scrap Iron’s biscuits. I don’t believe in witches, black magic, and werewolves. But Spiller’s picture in Sports Illustrated was like a silver bullet in a vampire’s heart.  
That picture was Clemson Waterloo. But don’t give the magazine all the credit. USC played better. They deserved to win. Instead of eating Chicken, we ate crow. I’m going to see Dr. Buzzard at Trio and see if he will put a curse on Sports Illustrated.
Nuts off the King’s Tree
Trio don’t have no Post Office, no Victoria’s Secret, no Miss Trio Beauty Contest. For fast relief you have to go to the root doctor, Dr. Buzzard, or to Lane or Ann’s Drawers. They used to have a liquor store in Suttons that would take foot stamps, but the government insisted that only food could be bought with food stamps, so they started selling “Ole Grave Yard” you could chew.
Trio does have something Millwood, Salters Depot, Cedar Swamp, Nesmith, Muddy Creek, Earles, Warsaw, Cades and Sandy Bay don’t have….a Christmas parade. It runs from D.P. Cooper to the site of the Williamsburg School through Oak Ridge, Suttons and aim well, it starts on Wednesday and ends on Sunday. Santa must be blessed with an over abundance intestinal fortitude to show up at Trio wearing a red suit with eight reindeer made out of meat. Santa better give his heart to Jesus cause those reindeer are bound to wind up in someone’s stomach.
Trio’s Christmas tree is a marijuana bush decorated with lightening bugs. They can’t afford Christmas lights cause Santee Electric won’t take food stamps.
Trio is on the old railroad track that ran from Andrews to Lane. I can remember when there were five cotton gins between Andrews and Lane on that road. And Robert Rowell and Roy Cooper sold everything from tobacco cloth to slop jars. That road is the longest, straightest road in the county. I used to get mail post marked Trio at the radio station. I recall when Mrs. Locklier was post mistress at the post office. I kidded her about the post office boxes that were unrented. I suggested she air conditioned those boxes and rent them out for freezer lockers. She was not impressed by my recommendation.
I’ve been invited to be Grand Marshall at the Barrineau Christmas parade and I also have been invited to ride in the Johnsonville parade. So far I haven’t heard a word from Trio.
Once I was visiting Joe at Marion Lee’s old dry cleaners in Hemingway (Joe was still is a member of the school board) when a gentleman walked in who was also on the school board, Joe asked what he was doing in Hemingway. He replied he had come to a school board meeting. Joe explained the meeting was in Trio at D.P. Cooper School. I want to congratulate the voters in Williamsburg County for electing someone to the school board who don’t know Hemingway from Trio. I’ve been invited to be Grand Marshall at the Barrineau Christmas parade and I also have been invited to ride in the Johnsonville parade. So far I haven’t heard a word from Trio.
Once I was visiting Joe at Marvin Lee’s old dry cleaners in Hemingway (Joe was and still is a member of the school board) when a gentleman walked in who was also on the school board, Joe asked what he was doing in Hemingway. He replied he had come to a school board meeting. Joe explained the meeting was in Trio at D.P. Cooper School. I want to congratulate the voters in Williamsburg County for electing someone to the school board who don’t know Hemingway from Trio.