When is the last time you wrote a letter? I don’t mean when is the last time you dictated a letter or wrote one on your laptop. When is the last time you used a pen and a piece of paper and painted a picture? Peggy and I got a letter written last week by Beth Cottingham. Did you know there was a Cottingham Blvd. in Bennettsville? This bit of trivia may come in handy the next time you are a contestant on Jeopardy.
Which brings us to Valentine’s Day. Instead of roses and chocolates, write her a love letter. Your significant other may be so surprised she will drop dead and you can collect the insurance. Roses have a life span of a compliment and chocolates put her hips in another zip code.
Remember the way it was way back when you couldn’t eat her up? That was then. Now do you remember the last time you tasted her ear? It’s still where it always was. There was a time when you searched for love in all the wrong places. Now you search for Valentine gifts in all the wrong places. Instead of lingerie, roses and a box of chocolates, write her a love letter. Roses fade, chocolates disappear, but love letters last longer than the mortgage on your house.
Every married couple, even unmarried couples have a song. Today, songs have words that are worse than “old what’s his name” when he was on the radio. But suppose you made a tape of your Valentine’s favorite songs. What would you include? These are my personal favorites, the tape I would give Peggy:
If I Didn’t Care – The Ink Spots; Only You – The Platters; Lollipops And Roses – Perry Como; I Walk The Line – Johnny Cash; Stardust – Nat King Cole; I’ll Be Seeing You – Frank Sinatra; Remember Me – Bing Crosby; Daddy’s Little Girl – Mills Brothers; Because of You – Tony Bennett; That’s How Much I Love You – Eddy Arnold; Dream – Pied Pipers; My Happiness – Jon and Sandra Steele; The Way We Were – Barbara Streisand; My Blue Heaven – Gene Austin; Deep In A Dream – Artie Shaw; A Nightingale Sang in Barkley Square – Glenn Miller; Moonlight – Billie Holiday.
If you could make a tape for your Valentine, what would you include? Would it contain songs from when F.D.R. or Harry Truman was president, or would it be songs from today’s hit parade?
Four million pounds! That roughly how much fat the calorie control council and Snack Food Association says are consumed on Super Bowl Sunday. Americans will eat 1 to 2 million pounds of potato chips, 8.2 million pounds of tortilla chips, 4.3 million pounds of popcorn, and 2.5 million pounds of nuts! That’s about 100 million calories and that doesn’t include hot dogs, hamburgers, dips or beverages. This information came from the nose and big mouth from the Holy City, The Post and Courier, which is owned by the Evening Post Publishing Co., which also owns the Kingstree Blues…lock, stock and Charlie Walker. They tried to give me away but they couldn't find a sucker, so they offered a year’s subscription to the Kingstree Blues to anyone willing to take me. Finally, they gave up and used me as an income tax deduction telling Uncle Sam they had a retarded columnist on the payroll. They pay me they, but they don’t pay me much! But then I don’t write much of a column either.
Super Bowl Sunday I had chicken and dumplings, beef roast. I couldn’t eat much, but what I could eat, I enjoyed. I enjoyed reading about the amount of food consumed during the Super Bowl. While most of my nourishment come through a tube, I enjoyed watching the grandchildren eat their capacity for food, which seemed to defy all the rules of nature. They ate like wolves and Ben will growl at you if you try to take his plate away before every molecule has been consumed.