They finally got advertising for me

  • Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Bobby Jonte

Oh No! They found out where I live. Now Iím getting advertising that is tailored for me. Iíve always been interested in how advertising on television is tailored to the viewers. There are lots of beer commercials during football games. Laundry detergent is the staple of the daytime soap operas. Early morning news seems to feature local car dealers. Kidís cartoons feature toys and other treats.

Iíve been worried that I donít belong to any good demographic. Most of the advertising doesnít seem directed at me. There is a lot of medicine being advertised and I just refuse to listen to it. There are lots of medicines that offer vomiting, sweating and sudden violent death as a side effect. You might as well have the sickness.

Itís easy to figure out who is really watching the show by looking at the advertising. The advertisers have studied this and have it down to a fine science.

Internet advertising is becoming even better. If you search for an item on the Internet, you are likely to see another advertisement like it the next time you turn on your computer. Youíll even get related advertising popping up. Now, advertising crowds out all the information you are searching for.

The advertisers have you separated by age, education, and location. They track your buying habits and everything else. Watch your favorite television show. You probably shop at some of the businesses advertised on the show. You probably use many of the products.

ďSixty MinutesĒ has a viewership of old people and their parents. You wonít see an ad for fast food. The cars advertised would more likely be a clunky mamma car and not a speedy sports car. The hair products work to restore hair rather than make it pretty. There is always plenty of medicine too.

Iíve noticed that Iím in an odd group where there doesnít seem to be much advertising directed at me. Now Iím afraid they have me. I got some mail the other day that advertised insurance for burial. That was a terrible shock for me. With all the things that are available to buy, I get an advertisement for a burial insurance policy? How old do they think I am? ďDonít answer that.Ē

At least somebody is thinking about me. I need to take a break from all this advertising frenzy. Donít need a thing and I donít plan to get anything either. Thatís not true but at least I can fool myself a little by saying it. I threw that ad away. I donít need an insurance policy to bury me. Iím just going to save up some money for my burial. Iíve already paid for my burial spot.

My biggest concern is finding out where to get some hair products that will help me. I donít need to grow hair. I just need to get it back to its natural color. There must be some pollutants in the air that has caused my hair to change color. Where do you get products to get my hair back to its natural blond beauty?

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