Apes & horses

  • Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Bobby Jonte

The new Planet of the Apes movie is out. I havenít seen it. The only thing I have noticed is the advertising for it. The apes have evolved and are taking over the earth from the humans. At least that is what I think is happening. Iím sure this action thriller of a movie will be a big hit. It has shooting and crashes and all the things that make for a good summer action movie.

I donít have all the details but the apes evolve and begin to take over the earth. That includes, chimpanzees, gorillas and orangutans. They even speak English.

I know, if the movie is playing in Japan, the apes will be speaking Japanese. Theyíll probably speak Canadian if the movie plays in Canada. These super apes can swing through the trees and better yet they learn how to use automatic weapons. Wow, what could be more exciting than an English speaking, rifle firing, super ape? How about the ape riding on a horse?

Thatís the part that is hard for me to understand. How do you evolve and learn about automatic weapons in such a short time? More baffling to me is the horses. Where did the apes get the horses? The apes look great on these large horses with war saddles and blazing machine guns. But why is it with all this evolution, do the apes ride horses? You would think that an ape that could field strip an AR 15 could learn to drive a car. I think getting a car near San Francisco, California would be a lot easier than getting horses and war saddles.

I donít know of a tack shop close to Greeleyville. I bet it is really hard to find one near San Francisco. The apes donít have money so they had to steal the horse and the saddle. Why not steal a car?

I donít think the movie explains anything about the logistics of the care and feeding of the horses. They are probably just movie horses that donít need food or water. Actually, the apes are movie apes that donít need food or water. Thatís the good part of the movies. You can leave the boring details.

Iím still amazed that the horses never evolve. The horse taking over the world would be great. Imagine if the horse would stand up on two legs. It would be 10 feet tall and an imposing force. Itís probably those hooves that keep the horse from really being a movie hero.

The evolution would have to get rid of the front hooves and grow hands so they could fire the automatic weapons. It could be those spooky horses canít get used to the automatic weapons fire. Thatís probably not true.

Horses have been in gun battles for a long time. It must be the hooves problem.

Iím still amazed that with all this technology, we still want to see people riding horses. It must be evolution gone badly in the humans. Now the apes will take over the world and horses will once again be the number one choice in transportation.

Hopefully, you will get a chance to see the movie and be entertained for a few hours out of the sweltering summer heat. I wouldnít spend too much time thinking about the logistics of horses and apes and automatic weapons. These movie scenarios arenít that important. The action, explosions and domination of the humans are the important parts of the movie.

As a cautionary measure, you might re-evaluate how you treat horses and apes. If this evolution comes about, they might be coming to your town.

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