Sleeping while the wind blows: by phone

  • Monday, March 24, 2014

You've probably already heard this story. A farmer needs to hire a helper. He interviews a farm helper that doesn't have much experience but says he can sleep while the wind blows.
The farmer hires the helper. The helper is a fast learner and things go well on the farm. One night a storm is coming and the farmer awakens to the sound of blowing wind. He gets up to check things on the farm only to find that his helper is asleep in the barn. All the horses are in the stalls, all fences are closed, barn doors locked, hay covered and everything in its place. The young helper could truly sleep while the wind blows. He had done everything when he should have done it.
If you have ever had to go back home to check that a door was locked or the stove was cut off, you can appreciate this story. It is annoying to think about whether you left a light on while you are attending a party. What could be worse than going down the road 10 miles only to remember that you haven't closed some windows?
You have done this before. I have done it many times. Some people are so compulsive about these things; they can't leave their house. On the other side of this dilemma is "So What?" I have come home and found out I left the television on all day. Other than burning a little electricity, nothing happened.
Now you can solve all these little annoyances by telephone. You have probably seen the television commercial where the children come to visit the parents on vacation. The kids have stopped by the house. The dad asks if they closed up everything at the house. The dad checks his phone and activates the program that cuts off all the lights, stops the faucet from leaking, cuts off the television and locks the door. Problem solved. Now what?
I am continually amazed at these smart phones. What can they do that is so interesting? Everywhere I look people are staring at phones. What is it about these phones that take up so much time? If I find out what is so amazing about them, I'm going to keep my own behind over not figuring it out sooner. I am actually scared of what I might discover.
I went to a concert recently. Blues legend Buddy Guy was playing on stage. The tickets cost $60. The music was phenomenal. All the people around me were looking at phones. What could be on the phone that could be better than hearing Buddy Guy? It must be something that is extraordinary. Why would you even attend the concert? You should just stay home and look at the phone. Now I'm worried for all these compulsive people that have the home monitoring system for their phone.
That's got to be a miserable existence. The people at the concert might have been checking their phones to find out if they had left the water on in the sink. I have a hard time repairing a leaking faucet. Had we have a system that is controlled by phone and monitors and repairs a leaking faucet?
What would happen if you found out that the monitoring system was reporting that a light was on and you could not cut it off? What would happen then? If the light you left on at the back steps went out; what could you do about it? That would lead to more checking the phone to find a 24 hour electrician to come change the bulb. Well, you couldn't just get home and have the light out on the back staircase.
Maybe that's what is going on with all the phones. You get to this great concert and you are worried about whether the lights are on at home. The phone monitors the system. It says the lights are off. The home security cameras show that a light is on. Is that because someone has broken into the home and overridden the system or is the system broken? Could the phone be wrong? Maybe I should check my phone again to see if the light is still on or there is a short is the electrical system. I think you could probably get a prescription to stop all this.
If I ever find out what is so great about these phones, I'll let you know. Until then, when I go to a concert I'm just going to watch the stage.

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